Life's Journey Part 4

So now we are ready to start IVF attempt #2. As the school year got closer to being over, I got more excited and more nervous. I had 4 months to dream and fantasize about IVF and about getting pregnant, and now the day was getting closer and closer. We decided we would start the birth control pills in May and then the injections in June. On May 20th, Chris took me to Chicago with him. He had to go for work, but the guys decided it would be fun to take the wives, too. We had sooo much fun! I was nervous about missing school so close to the end of the year, but I had always wanted to go to Chicago. I loved it!!! I was supposed to get my period while we were on the trip, so I went ahead and go my birth control pills and took them with me. We got back on the 23rd. As I was unpacking, it just hit me that I never got my period. I realized I was on cycle day 32. My cycles are always short, which was one of my fertility problems...that and I had a dwarf for a right ovary. I just decided to do a pregnancy test totally thinking it would come up negative and then I would know that any day now I would get my period. So, I found a box of tests that I had and did the test. Before I could even put it down on the counter, 2 pink lines came up!!!!!!! And these lines were dark, too! I just started freaking out. I ran to show Chris. I told him "There are two lines, there are two lines...I've never had two lines!!!!" He was very calm and told me I should do another test. I did.....same 2 lines came up right before our eyes. Were were in shock!!! The next morning, May 24, 2011 I called my clinic to set up a blood test. I went during lunch and waited for my nurse to call me back with the results. At 3:30, she called me and said "Well, Carrie, your numbers look perfect. You're pregnant!" I was in shock again!!! I couldn't believe I really was pregnant...the old fashioned way! I called my mom and dad and my sister and I told a few close friends. I had to go for another blood test on June 2 to make sure my numbers were rising. Guess what? They did!! My HCG was: 9,987 and my progesterone was 26.8. Next hurdle was June 13 for the 7 week sonogram to see the heartbeat. I was soooo excited for that day to come, but I was also extremely nervous. I kept waiting for another one of life's curveballs to hit me. I had no morning sickness at all. That made me nervous too. June 13th came. Chris met me at the clinic. I had a charm that Ashley had mailed to me that she took with her to all of Nathan's sonograms. My heart was beating so hard and fast and I just kept asking God to have our baby's heart doing the same thing. We got called back and the nurse took my blood pressure and weight and then told me that Dr. Hansard would be in shortly. As soon as the nurse left, I lost it. I just started crying and told Chris I was so scared. He told me to relax and that it's ok to be nervous but that everything will be fine. I just kept asking God to please let there be a heartbeat and let me leave happy. I had the charm in my hand and kept rubbing it. Dr. Hansard came in and I lost it again. I told her I was so nervous and she just gave me a big hug. I layed down and looked at the ceiling....I did not want to look at the monitor until she told me to. All of a sudden she said "We've got a baby and a heartbeat!" TEARS streamed down my face. Thank you GOD!!!!!! I looked at the monitor and saw a LIFE on the screen. She then turned on the volume and we heard the heart beating. The most beautiful sound I had ever heard. Then I saw the flutter of LIFE on the screen. Chris and I created a life and its heart was beating. Dr. Hansard said it was a strong heartbeat at 140bpm. She printed off a few pictures and said for me to come back in 2 weeks and then I will be released to my OB for the remainder of the pregnancy. Chris and I left the clinic in a fog of happiness. FINALLY!!! That day I could not concentrate on anything. I kept looking at the picture of our little baby. I thanked God throughout the day and I continue to thank Him each night before bed. I can't wait for June 13 where we will see that our baby has grown and hear that heart beating again. This journey has not been easy. It has had more downs than ups, but it has been well worth the ride. God was trying to show me that I could trust Him. That his plan is perfect for me. I see that now. It was so hard to see it before now. I wish I had put more trust and faith in God. Now I know. I am so excited for the rest of this journey. It's just starting. I know there will still be ups and downs but now I look forward to this crazy thing called life!

IVF: The Breakdown on Cost

We knew IVF would be crazy expensive, but we had no idea how expensive it would be for ME! Here is the breakdown of our first IVF cycle:
Anesthesiology: $400
Surgery Center Fee: $2,257.84
Austin IVF Fee: $5,750.00
Texas Fertility Center: $1,785.00
(Re-fills of Follistim: $2, 157.00)
**The above fees were due at the end of the IVF cycle. We actually never had to pay any of those big fees because we never made it to egg retrieval or egg transfer. So that $10,192.84 was still in the bank for us to use for the 2nd IVF.

What we paid out of pocket for labs, ultrasounds, and injections:
10-21: $40.00
11-5: $72.00
11-8 $2,282.00 (first shipment of meds and injections)
11-10: $113.80 (injections)
11-17: $20.40
11-24: $110.00
11-24: $163.99
11-20: $20.40
12-3: $2,157.00 (injections)
12-6: $190.00
All of this adds up to $5,169.59. If we had made it to egg retrieval and transfer, our grand total would have been $15,362.43. UNBELIEVEABLE!!!!! So we knew what we were going to have to pay for the 2nd IVF. We also knew that I would have to add more medications to stimulate my ovaries more. Se we were estimating the 2nd IVF would be close to $18,000. A little stressful.

Life's Journey Part 3

IVF here we come!!! Oh wait, nevermind. Life decided to throw me yet ANOTHER curveball in the form of a Crohn's flare up in August 2010. I had stopped my medication because I was so worried about it hurting a potential pregnancy. It turns out my body needs that medication. After much debating, my gastro doc and I decided it was better for my body to be healthy and to stay on the medication. He assured me he had many pregnant women on the same medication and they never had any problems. October 28, 2010 marks the beginning of our first attempt at IVF! I started birth control pills on the 29th. Blood work revealed that I had a high FSH reading meaning I have fewer eggs than what I should have...GREAT! I began antibiotics on Nov 4. On Nov 17 we had our baseline ultrasound to look at my ovaries and to sign paperwork. I learned here that I had a small cyst on my right ovary. We were hopeful Lupron would shrink the cyst. I had to keep going back to check on that damn cyst. Finally it went away and I was able to start Follistim on Dec. 2nd. So here was the schedule:
12-2 Start Follistim at 300 units in evening
12-3 A.M. Decrease Lupron to 5 units, Follistim still 300 units in A.M. and P.M.
12-6 Bloodwork in A.M. sonogram at 9:00 (showed I had 3 follicles on the left measuring 8, 8, and 9) and 2 follicles on the right measuring 8, and 4)
12-9 Blood work in A.M. and sonogram at 2:45 (showed only 4 follies that were a good size. There were others but they were way too small. We were probably going to have to convert this IVF to an IUI. I needed at least 10 good size follicles to make IVF worth it.
12-12 Blood work in A.M. and sonogram at 10:00
**My body failed me once again. I only made 4 eggs. I had to give myself the Ovidrel injection to induce ovulation of those eggs and prepare for IUI.**
12-13 and 12-14: IUI.
12-28 BFN

I was so disappointed about this! But Dr. Hansard assured me that we would change the protocol and do a different round of injections since I was now labeled a "poor responder." Although I was so anxious to try again, I decided it would be better if we waited until school was out for the summer. I would be so much more relaxed then. I decided to take the next 4 months to make myself as healthy in my mind and body as possible. I began acupuncture as well as a few different vitamin supplements. During this time I just focused on myself and looked forward to the summer. It seemed like all of my friends were getting pregnant. That was hard. At one time, there were 6 teachers pregnant at my school. Although I love my friends and were happy for them, I still hated to see their growing bellies. I really enjoyed my weekly acupuncture appointments. I always felt so relaxed when I left. She would put the needles in, put heat lamps over me, turn on quiet music, turn off the lights, and then let me nap for an hour. I loved it!! My acupuncturist deals with infertility so I was hopeful, but I thought at the very least, this will just help to relax me. The end of the school year was quickly approaching and I was getting so excited/nervous about our second attempt at IVF!!!!

Life's Journey Part 2

We finally made an appointment at Texas Fertility Center with Dr. Lisa Hansard. The moment I met her, I loved her. She was very thorough and encouraging. She said we were "perfect candidates for IUI." I left feeling extremely hopeful, optimistic, and energized! So, I started taking Clomid on cycle days 3-7. Then I went in for monitoring. On Dec. 8 we did our first IUI. I was so hopeful. I had to wait 2 weeks and then go for a blood test to see if I was pregnant on Dec. 22. I decided to test early on the 20th. It came up negative. I tried to tell myself it was still too early, but in my heart I knew. Blood test results on Dec. 22: BFN (big fat negative). So, on to round 2 of IUI. We did it on Jan 4th. My blood test day was on the 18th. I already decided I would not test early...just let the blood test tell me. I did not feel hopeful at all this time. I started to feel so down. At this time, it seemed like all anyone talked about was babies and when they were going to have another one and what their child did, etc... I remember calling my mom and just breaking down and crying to her. I felt like I was in a fog. I felt like I couldn't be happy about anything until I became pregnant. I felt like I couldn't be optimistic. But why? I'm a good person. I'm kind. I've always wanted to be a stay at home mom. All I've ever wanted was to be married and to have a baby. I'm relatively healthy. So why can't I have a baby? I know for sure that I will be the best mommy! I can't wait to be woken up because my baby is crying. I can't wait to gain weight and have a big belly. I don't care if I get stretch marks. I want tot take my baby places and show him or her off. I want to take the baby to Chris' work. These are things I thought about constantly. But I felt like these things would never happen. In the back of my mind I thought surely it will happen, but I just could not imagine seeing two pink lines on a pregnancy test. Looking back, I was definitely in the beginnings of depression. All I wanted was for God to give me just one healthy baby. Just one. I tried to see His plan for me and to have faith, but doubt always took over. All in all we did 5 IUI's and not one worked. IVF was going to be our last hope.

Life's Journey Part 1

I always knew I would start a blog one day. I love reading other people's/strangers' blogs! A lot of the blogs on my list are people I don't know....but I've been reading their blogs for so long that I feel like I do know them. Strange, I know. So I decided I would start a blog when I had something worth blogging about....a baby. I had no idea my blog would be put off for 2 1/2 years.
The Journey Part 1:
Chris and I got married on March 12, 2004. We knew we wanted to be married for a couple years at least before trying to have a baby. We wanted to enjoy married life and have our own home. I was so ready to start trying for a baby about 2 years after we got married, but we decided to wait a little longer. Three years into our marriage, life threw us a curve ball. I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease when I was in college. I had surgery when I was a senior and had been in remission ever since....until 2007. I woke up in excruciating pain and knew what was happening. I ended up having to have surgery again for a blockage in my intestine. We had to put off baby-making for another year. I got on a maintenance drug (Azathioprine) to keep my disease in remission. After a year we decided to start trying for a baby. I decided to go off my medication totally thinking I would get pregnant relatively quickly and I just didn't want to be on any medication. September 2008 we officially began trying. Month after month, I would discover that I was not pregnant. At first I just thought our timing was off. So I decided to track my cycles. I started using ovulation test kits every month, I took my temperature every morning and graphed it on a program online, I read books, I took different vitamins, I did EVERYTHING! After a year of trying on our own, we decided we needed to see a specialist.